The Ancient Stoic Trick to Stop Worrying About the Wrong Things

How to apply principles from Stoicism into your own life

Modern Interpretation of the Dichotomy of Control (Dichotomy of Control - Michael Lazebny)

"Some things are within our power, while others are not. Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office, and, in a word, whatever is not of our own doing."

- Epictetus, Enchiridion

The ancient Stoic philosophers taught that while we can’t control external events, we can control how we respond to them.

This concept, known as the Dichotomy of Control (or virtue vs chance), has changed how I approach difficult events forever. It’s one of the most applicable ancient concepts and is a powerful tool for resilience (shoutout to TKS for introducing me to it!).

Today, Stoicism is used in modern psychology (CBT, ACT) and helps millions of people handle and navigate adversity.

A key factor of the Dichotomy of Control is the ability to separate things you can control from things you can’t control. Here are some examples:

✅ In control:

• intent (I will do my best to…)

• attitude (I choose to see this as…)

• actions (how you respond, prepare, adapt)

❌ Out of control:

• unpredictable events (accidents, delays, random encounters)

• others’ opinions (whether they like/dislike you)

• past/future (what if… ? I regret…)

You can’t control the outcome. You can only control your actions, attitude and intent.

Modern interpretations may add a third layer known as the sphere of influence. It contains things that could be influenced, like relationships and teamwork (other’s opinions would be moved into the sphere of influence in this case). However, the main focus should still be on what you can do (effort, attitude).

Ex. Sphere of Influence (When I Focused on This, Everything Fell Into Place - Lora Ulrich)

"The more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.”

-Marcus Aurelius

Applying the Dichotomy of Control

The Dichotomy of Control has helped me navigate various chaotic situations. It cuts through noise and is a great way to break things down to focus on the issues that actually matter.

The 3-Step Method:

1. Separate

   • column 1 (Mine): effort, preparation, attitude

   • column 2 (Not Mine): outcomes, others' actions, luck

2. Focus on column 1 → this is how you create change

3. Release and forget column 2 → overthinking about this causes suffering

A common theme I see with peers is right after tests. Instead of worrying about how they did, it would be more productive to think about how they can do better in the future.

Note: this isn’t about apathy or avoiding responsibility. It’s about prioritizing what matters.

• Bad example: I can’t control my health, so I might as well not exercise

• Good example: I can’t control if I get sick, but I can control my diet, sleep and exercise

Other practical applications:

• journaling— writing down thoughts and attitudes towards different events and ideas

• premortems— before a project, come up with the possible ways it can go wrong and focus on the ones you have control over

• postmortems— after events, analyze how some controllable factors may have been neglected or how you may have wasted energy on uncontrollable factors

YOUR turn! What’s one thing you’ve been stressing about that’s actually outside your control? How could you shift your focus?